"Love Is Nothing But Pain"

by Tyesha

How could you hurt me
I was so young.
I did a lot of bad things in my life,
but nothing worse than what you have done.
I don't understand; I was so young
I deserved to get punished at times,
but not like this one.
You hurt me and raped me,
then walked and acted as if nothing happened
you abused me and now every time I look at a man
my mind start collapsing.
I was so young but you didn’t care
you told me you loved me, then forced me up the stairs.
You said just relax, soon it would end
I begged you to stop
and you replied with a grin.
You were my mother's man, not mine
how could you be so sick to rape a child.
You said if I ever told you'd kill me
and then you turned around and said you loved me.
You said love is nothing but pain
so get used to it cause it's all the same.
I was only 10 and you took my life from me
and as if it wasn't bad enough,
when I tried to tell the only person I thought
I could trust, they thought it was funny.
They thought I was making it up
and didn't believe anything I said
I was so messed up in the head
I couldn't go anywhere near another bed.
My mother would ask me what was wrong
and I couldn't tell her
because I thought she would think I was lying
so instead I went to bed every night crying.
I thought God hated me
because of something I had done
and that’s because Richard told me I was bad
and deserved to be punished
he said God didn't love me
because I never liked to have fun
that’s when he told me God loves no one.
You put me through this pain
from when I was 5 till I was 10
and now it'll never happen again
because I have learned that God does love me
even though my pain I thought he couldn't see
he helped me and now I'm with him again
where I will never get hurt by another man.
The pain I went through built up inside
till my secret I could no longer hide.
I told my mother what was going on
and like I suspected she didn't believe me
or at least not until that Saturday
when she didn't see me.
He had found out I snitched
so he raped me once more
and through my body in a ditch.
My mother saw me on the news
and all she could do was cry
she asked herself over and over
why I didn’t believe that lie.
But the good news is Richard is in jail
and my mother says he's going to burn
for an eternity in hell.
And as for me I'm in a better place
were no one could hurt me
because I’m protected by God's grace.