My Father

by Bianca

The main reason for you is to keep me protected, 
But now I feel mostly rejected 
Nothing that you want 
And the old you was always there to haunt 
My dreams are full of disappointments 
They are shattered and scarred 
With memory of the old you 
Losing you to an unwilling cause 
Putting the nightmare to a pause 
No chance of getting out 
But frozen, I’ll never shout 
I try to fight but just forget it 
Someday I tell myself you’ll regret it 
I am stuck in an unending time loop 
Circular like a hoop 
It's unstoppable 
But to lose my sanity is most likely probable 
The hero is now the villain 
Until a viewer 
Sits to watch his game 
I gave in and now 
I am known for my shame 
Losing every part of me 
All I ask of you is to let me be 
I beg of you I am not perfect 
And once I gave you my heart you 
Hurt it 
I am not like the others 
So please someone another protect me 
The haunters spear me with their words 
They eat my pain for dinner and drink my tears 
No matter how far or how fast I run 
I get lost in my past 
They eat me up slowly once again 
To the point the blow is too hard to mend 
Some days, I feel I will soon awaken 
Others, reality strikes me 
Everything that made me 
Me
Is taken
Love is a word that has no meaning 
You throw it around like the word hi 
Beauty is the vision of perfection 
Without it you are just another rejection 
Having more silicone in your body than you have blood 
Fake and plastic 
Your truth stretches like the worst piece of elastic 
Girls looking in the mirror and thinking that's it 
You people turning their self esteem to shit