Infant

by Ayushi

Mom, why is water flowing from your eyes?
Dad, why dont you smile?
Why is everyone sad?
Is there something wrong?
God said, I was supposed to bring happiness to your lives,
Then why is no one happy?
Am I not good?
Mom, have I made a mistake?
Have I hurt anyone?

I remember, 
you were laughing, 
Singing songs, 
And were extremely happy
Infact, everyone was happy.
I could even feel your laughter,
When I was a part of you.
Even I thought to myself,
That I would come to your life,
And would make you even more happpier,
But that is not happening...!
I can see that everyone is sad,
I can sense something wrong.

Oh! I forgot to tell you mom,
When I was inside you,
Something was troubling me.
I wasn't at ease,
I felt something pressing against my throat 
It felt like, something was trying to kill me...
And then I choked,
and again...
and again...

A few moments passed,
And I was feeling better,
But there was a problem...
I was not able to breathe properly
Things were not making sense, mom
I don't know what was happening.

Then there was screaming and shouting and god knows what all.
And then came the moment, when I entered this world...
I was covered in a red, gooey substance,

My eyes were not opening,
And I couldn't move,
Not even a bit!
I wasn't even breathing...

God told me once,
"All you have to do throughout your life,.. is breathe
Because that is what proves that you are alive!"

Things are making sense now, mom
I don't move
I don't cry
I don't even breathe...!
Mom, am I not alive?
Am I "born dead", like most people call it?
I think I am...

I am sorry, mom
But I would have to leave...
I don't get a chance to be with you, and dad and this family.
God wants me back..

I guess, this is the reason why everyone is crying
I did not stay with you all,
For even a few moments,
But you all, still love me,
Are crying over my death..
All of you would miss me, right?

I promise you, mom
I would go back to god 
and ask him to give you a friend of mine.
You keep him, ok?
And be happy.

I may not be alive, mom
But I know god will give you happiness again.
I know my friend will make you happy

Please mom, please don't cry
And ask dad to be happy
You know I love you the most, right?
And I will always do ...
Just take care of yourself
And everyone else

It's time for me to go.
Bye mom,
Bye dad,
Bye world.