January 17, 2014
Never had I surmised,
I would fall in love;
It happened so suddenly,
Hardly could I know.
Her eyes were scintillating,
Her hair so sleek;
Time stood still at the moment
I was watching her like a geek.
She spoke with a serenity,
That'd calm the angers of all;
Her voice was so sweet,
Like angels giving you a call.
Her manner was so gentle,
Her walk so fine;
No one would call her human,
She had a touch of The Divine.
Her eyes exploring the Earth,
Glimpsed me anyhow for a moment;
They blinked and glared me back,
I wondered if it be an accident.
From childhood up to now,
I always dreamed of a princess.
Now in reality she was, there
And to my surprise our eyes met.
The meadow around with green lustre,
Bade 'hello' to the masterly beauty.
But her eyes, gently piercing my soul,
I never experienced such a sanity.
The golden sun smiling in the blue sky,
With its rays gleaming over her hair;
Array of perfection she already wore,
Making it a complexion so beautiful, so rare.
Nature-born or God-gifted;
This girl made me fall for her;
I wondered if she be a fairy,
'Had she white wings with white fur?'
At the whole of her sight,
You'd have said she was a dove;
But my heart couldn't stop singing,
"I AM IN LOVE"
I used to love to look at you,
I used love your laugh,
I miss the way I'd come unglued,
I loved the way we meshed
I loved the honesty we shared,
and living without fear,
I loved the thought of
having you forever, always here
But today I cannot look at you,
not the same now, anyway,
what happened to the way we were,
why did it have to change?
Without you I feel broken,
Like I never will move on,
I was in love with you,
I am now, and may forever be,
please just help me now,
please just help me see.
January 11, 2014
You always see me smiling,
But on the inside I’m really crying.
Nobody knows me,
Nobody understands me.
I’ve never had anybody to talk to.
My dad was never here,
My mom was always working,
None of my friends wanted to talk about feelings,
Then I turned to drugs,
I felt like they were the only things
that would understand me.
They took over my life.
Every day, all day, before school,
even during school, and after school.
I said goodbye to my family and old friends.
I had no more feelings,
I just didn’t care anymore.
Everything seemed so great,
only because I was hiding my feelings behind the drugs.
They controlled everything, my feelings, thoughts, and body.
It was the scariest thing ever, I just didn’t know what to do.
Then I moved away from my family and so called friends.
I finally sobered up.
It was the best feeling ever.
I turned to the best person ever, Jesus.
I stopped living life for myself & started living for him.
Ever since I’ve made that choice I’ve risen to the top.
I can face my feelings and I’m a stronger person,
I’m not afraid anymore.
My family finally loves me and is here for me again.
I love this feeling,
I love the new me.
I cannot feel, I want to but I just can't.
My heart aches when I feel, so I don't,
No I can't, I can't feel that anymore, I can't, I won't.
It's not easy and I don't like it,
January 8, 2014
Read this, then,
tell me what have you learnt?
i am not a perfect girl,
i was once broken but yet i am not unbroken.
i stay away from crowds.
i have no shadows.
i have left all judgment out of my head.
i don’t know what mind tells me anymore; i listen to what my heart says.
every day, i live my life and the days i have lived pass in minutes.
they all thought they knew me, so i just laughed in my head.
the ones who knew me, knew more about me than i did.
i used to over-think, let it boil until it turned into liquid.
i have made mistakes, i am not perfect.
i try to correct them over and over; it's like they want be perfected.
January 1, 2014
That feeling I often get when you’re next to me.
That feeling that just won’t go away.
That feeling where,
He brings me roses on Valentine’s.
He whispers the words I love you in my ears.
He calls me every day just to see if I am okay.
He makes me feel more in love with him
Every time I look into his beautiful blue eyes.
He makes me feel less insecure.
He takes my pain and misery away.
Now everything is just plain dull,
He left me without saying goodbye.
Wondering, but knowing he’s never coming back.
Now it’s just me buying red roses on Valentine’s Day
The redness of the flowers reminds me
Of the warmth of my blood constricting in my skin.
He made me fall in love with his everything
And now I am not sure about a second chance at love
But I know for sure that although I have fallen
I would rise again.
He’s probably up there watching me
Over the clouds and stars.