Numb

by Mone

I cannot feel, I want to but I just can't.

Because if I do then all I feel is pain.

I don't wanna feel pain because then I remember.

When I feel pain I have to hold myself together,

So that I don't fall apart.
My heart aches when I feel, so I don't,

I just stop then the pain goes away,

to return another day. Unless just maybe I should let it out;
No I can't, I can't feel that anymore, I can't, I won't.

So I stand still, I don't move, and after a time I go numb again.
It's not easy and I don't like it,

but if being numb means not being in pain, I'll take it.