by Nkossi N.
I sit with myself,
I have conversations with myself,
I berate myself,
I commend myself.
I think of times past,
I ponder upon laughs shared,
I muse about arguments forgiven,
I simper at those forgotten.
I concede my wrongdoings,
I forgive yours.
I wonder how?
I wonder why?
I fail to fathom why,
My conception loathes to accept,
To accept the candor that is.
The candor that it is finished.
Again, I berate myself.
Again I commend myself.
Moreover, I confuse the device of thought.
Worse, that which pumps sanguine,
It beats to the rhythm of a rock lullaby,
O! How I long to smile yet again,
How I long to watch the reflection of self.
Yes, in those pools of brown that pizzazz me time and again
Is it time to run along?
Should I lay in wait?
Must I culminate all feeling?
I know not.
I feel a lot.
September 5, 2012
August 22, 2012
Quiet Mind
by Rachel
Your nose is too round,
Your forehead's too big,
Your stomach is fat,
Ugliness all around.
Starve yourself for a day,
But you still look the same,
Maybe a new scar will take away the pain.
Too ugly for friends,
They'll only reject you,
No one will ever accept you.
You'll never be worthy of the lord's love,
So pretend you don't believe what they say is above.
Why do you try?
Put down the eyeliner and mascara.
No one looks at you anyway.
Love?
That's not for you.
Don't flatter yourself,
You're not pretty enough.
They don't care about you,
You're a screw up,
Eventually they'll leave you behind.
Why can't I have a quiet mind?
August 20, 2012
I'm Sorry
by Leah V.
I’m sorry I’m not perfect
Another perfect image
You have imprinted
And thriving in
Your mind
I’m sorry for having
The impatience of
My father, that
Peace I cannot
Find.
I’m sorry for being
So determined and
Independent and stubborn,
Just as you were
Back then.
I’m sorry my view
On things is more
Into reality, yet yours
In your own little
World
I’m sorry fairy tales
Were left behind for
Me as a child.
I’m sorry I don’t live
By your religious
Standards on your
Perfect life.
I’m sorry every time
You yell at me, I cry
For feeling that I
Am nothing in
Your eyes.
I'm sorry I live to
Please you so much
And want to deserve
Your all around
Attention.
I’m sorry I wish,
Wish my life away
Every time your own
Flesh and blood
Come and visit
Our home.
I’m sorry I make
You think of him
Every time you look
At me.
I’m sorry I’m
This perfect
Child.
I’m sorry.
I’m just so sorry.
The Mistake(n) One
by Leah V.
i am not one
to feel like something.
i am one
who is told she is nothing.
i do not stand tall
like a redwood tree.
i am shot down
so carelessly.
i am not pretty
like other teens.
i am told i did not
inherit those genes.
i have no sense
as many do.
i have all the book smarts,
that lead me askew.
i follow the wrong path
and the wrong crowd.
i instead follow no one
and remain in my cloud.
i have a bad mindset
worldly and corrupt.
i must be out of reality
forced and abrupt.
i have no say
as the "child" i am.
i have no opinion
no place to stand.
i hear you say these things
that cannot be erased.
i cannot tune you out
you cannot be chased.
i wasn't a forethought
unknown and unplanned.
i was a "mistake"
thought to be banned?
i am not "happy"
unless i am with you?
i am sorry
but the mistaken one is you.
Goodbye
by Artemis Moon
So sweet is your voice
as you whisper to me,
but I guess you don't
know about my
obsession with you,
because it could
cause us confusion,
pain, and regret.
Do you trust my love?
No, of course not.
You could do better
than a girl with her
head in the clouds.
So I guess I can
love you in secret...
But I can't.
So I will take my secret
to the grave.
If I can't have you
then I can't live.
So goodbye, my beautiful friend.
Never forget me and
remember when you kiss her.
August 19, 2012
The Brave Warrior
by Elisheva
At night a knight in shining armor,
Riding on his valiant white stead.
On his way the way to the castle,
To save his beloved princess.
At the gate, the gate to the dungeon,
Waits a fiery dragon for its prey.
At Gaza a soldier in bullet proof armor,
Riding in his big metal tank.
On his way the way into battle,
To protect his beloved country.
At the gate, the gate to death and blood,
Waits a wild terrorist for his prey
August 10, 2012
Ghostly Eyes
by Artemis Moon
Ghostly eyes watch us burn.
They use beauty and silence to disguise themselves.
We do not normally see the evil lurking in the crowds,
never see the devil's spies.
But I see them.
I can see their sunken, pale faces
And their mouths open in an eternal scream.
And their eyes.
Their fearless black eyes,
Full of want, and lust.
And violence.
No one believes me,
Which is why I am here in this large white room,
Telling you about the evil that watches us die.
Do you believe me?
They use beauty and silence to disguise themselves.
We do not normally see the evil lurking in the crowds,
never see the devil's spies.
But I see them.
I can see their sunken, pale faces
And their mouths open in an eternal scream.
And their eyes.
Their fearless black eyes,
Full of want, and lust.
And violence.
No one believes me,
Which is why I am here in this large white room,
Telling you about the evil that watches us die.
Do you believe me?
Live Again
by Artemis Moon
Those beautiful eyes of his haunt me
in deep shades of blue.
His voice is exotic and seductive
as he tells me how stunning I am.
I'm scared to open my eyes,
for fear of losing sight
of his flirty smile and teasing laugh.
For fear that he isn't real.
He holds me in his arms
and tells me to wake up,
that he is real,
and that he'll be there
when I open my eyes.
So I listen.
I open my eyes and blink
at the blinding white lights
and stare at the doctors around me.
He isn't there.
The dark seductive voice of Death
convinced me to live again.
in deep shades of blue.
His voice is exotic and seductive
as he tells me how stunning I am.
I'm scared to open my eyes,
for fear of losing sight
of his flirty smile and teasing laugh.
For fear that he isn't real.
He holds me in his arms
and tells me to wake up,
that he is real,
and that he'll be there
when I open my eyes.
So I listen.
I open my eyes and blink
at the blinding white lights
and stare at the doctors around me.
He isn't there.
The dark seductive voice of Death
convinced me to live again.
August 8, 2012
Unmasked
by Brooke
Smiling from ear to ear,
Laughing joyfully,
Happy,
That's what's on the outside.
Devastation,
Floods of tears,
Depressed,
That's what's on the inside.
Getting caught up in the moment,
Doesn't happen very often for me,
But I pretend so no one has to worry.
I enjoy being alone,
Reading a book,
Writing down my thoughts,
And listening to my music.
But one can get tired of it,
Longing for a friend to take my hand,
Just knowing that someone cares.
But I just pretend,
I'm a happy-go-lucky person,
Who has not a problem in the world.
Not very many people see through this,
Not very many people look,
But when they do,
I feel vulnerable.
I try to convince them otherwise,
Show that I'm happy,
They pretend I've convinced them,
Just to make me happy.
But others keep peeling back the layers,
Figuring me out,
Becoming my friend.
As I pretend,
Not being who I am,
Trying to be like everybody else,
You have found me unmasked.
What Is It Like To Be Evil?
by Rachel
How does it feel to know everyone wants you dead?
To have to check your closet and under your bed?
You brought it on yourself you know,
Ripping children's dreams to shreds,
Acid spraying from your mouth as you speak,
Your selfish words are strong, beating the listener,
But your body and your arguments are weak.
The requested reaper waiting at every turn,
Conjured by your victims who will spit in your urn.
Every tear you force from an eye,
Is another wish that soon you will die.
You pretend to be innocent, like you've done no wrong,
But your lies don't last very long.
You get bloodshot eyes screaming over someone else's spilled milk,
Sticking your snickering nose in into everyone's life.
How can you sleep with these echoing cries?
Plummet off the highest of cliffs,
And give my murdered soul its dying wish.
My Father
by Bianca
The main reason for you is to keep me protected,
But now I feel mostly rejected
Nothing that you want
And the old you was always there to haunt
My dreams are full of disappointments
They are shattered and scarred
With memory of the old you
Losing you to an unwilling cause
Putting the nightmare to a pause
No chance of getting out
But frozen, I’ll never shout
I try to fight but just forget it
Someday I tell myself you’ll regret it
I am stuck in an unending time loop
Circular like a hoop
It's unstoppable
But to lose my sanity is most likely probable
The hero is now the villain
Until a viewer
Sits to watch his game
I gave in and now
I am known for my shame
Losing every part of me
All I ask of you is to let me be
I beg of you I am not perfect
And once I gave you my heart you
Hurt it
I am not like the others
So please someone another protect me
The haunters spear me with their words
They eat my pain for dinner and drink my tears
No matter how far or how fast I run
I get lost in my past
They eat me up slowly once again
To the point the blow is too hard to mend
Some days, I feel I will soon awaken
Others, reality strikes me
Everything that made me
Me
Is taken
Love is a word that has no meaning
You throw it around like the word hi
Beauty is the vision of perfection
Without it you are just another rejection
Having more silicone in your body than you have blood
Fake and plastic
Your truth stretches like the worst piece of elastic
Girls looking in the mirror and thinking that's it
You people turning their self esteem to shit
The main reason for you is to keep me protected,
But now I feel mostly rejected
Nothing that you want
And the old you was always there to haunt
My dreams are full of disappointments
They are shattered and scarred
With memory of the old you
Losing you to an unwilling cause
Putting the nightmare to a pause
No chance of getting out
But frozen, I’ll never shout
I try to fight but just forget it
Someday I tell myself you’ll regret it
I am stuck in an unending time loop
Circular like a hoop
It's unstoppable
But to lose my sanity is most likely probable
The hero is now the villain
Until a viewer
Sits to watch his game
I gave in and now
I am known for my shame
Losing every part of me
All I ask of you is to let me be
I beg of you I am not perfect
And once I gave you my heart you
Hurt it
I am not like the others
So please someone another protect me
The haunters spear me with their words
They eat my pain for dinner and drink my tears
No matter how far or how fast I run
I get lost in my past
They eat me up slowly once again
To the point the blow is too hard to mend
Some days, I feel I will soon awaken
Others, reality strikes me
Everything that made me
Me
Is taken
Love is a word that has no meaning
You throw it around like the word hi
Beauty is the vision of perfection
Without it you are just another rejection
Having more silicone in your body than you have blood
Fake and plastic
Your truth stretches like the worst piece of elastic
Girls looking in the mirror and thinking that's it
You people turning their self esteem to shit
Stolen
by Artemis Moon
i'm no match for her beauty;
it's a beauty too fast.
i'll never catch up
i will always be last.
but still i know you,
and i know that you're smart,
and you're also a thief,
because you stole my heart.
and she may love you,
but not as much as i,
and i know you'll never come back,
which is why i sit here and cry.
i cry for the days,
that are long gone and past.
and i cry for the days,
where i was never last.
August 5, 2012
Gone
by Artemis Moon
i sit by the window
mourning your leave
the air becomes thick
it becomes hard to breathe
when i am awake
your voice haunts me
but when i sleep
i think you're with me
and i hope one day
you will see your mistake
so you will run to my arms
and a new love we will make
i sit by the window
mourning your leave
the air becomes thick
it becomes hard to breathe
when i am awake
your voice haunts me
but when i sleep
i think you're with me
and i hope one day
you will see your mistake
so you will run to my arms
and a new love we will make
August 2, 2012
I Would've
by
Alexandria
Everyday I wither away
I remember every word you'd say
It
was all a lie, one I believed
I'd
swear to you each and every day
What
does it mean?
What
am i to you?
Confused
and Broken
Too
scared to look like a fool
I'm nothing now,
Ive
not listened like I should've
If
only I knew what I knew now
I
could've left...I would've.
Am
I enough now?
Am I all what you want?
New
questions creep into my mind,
lurking
and they haunt.
Only
to sit there. Unanswered.
Will
they ever be?
June 8, 2012
Choice
by SophiaFor him I made a selfless choice
I clouded my heart-desired voice
I threw away a happy life
And chose one that is filled with strife
The queen of darkness I’d be to him
One song of pain, an endless hymn
Instead he’ll take queen of light
With those deep eyes, how can I fight?
To her I swore my sacred oath
Something I may have come to loathe
And though his love I’ll always crave
I take my promise to the grave
For how, with her, could I compete?
Trying itself, would be a feat
With such brown eyes and slender figure
All of me it will disfigure
And so in hopelessness I lay
My choice, on my shoulders it will weigh
With a life that’s worth less than coal
And love still weighing on my soul
Pain
by Sophia
I always dreamt I'd take your hand
And write your name down in the sand
Yet when I wake up in the morning
You aren't there, my heart is yearning
I thought I could forget you
And leave you there without a clue
But when I try, it'll never do
Because I see your eyes so blue
You never thought what I would feel
That on my knees you made me kneel
And so my heart has turned to coal
I, to the devil, sold my soul
And now to me you have come back
Away at my sanity you hack
You now ask me to forgive you
Something I am so willing to do
I give up, I have no power
My strength is gone, my life is sour
All my strings of life are severed
If feel like I've been dead forever
A Thin Line
by Sophia
Me.
Walking on a thin line between
Reality
Actuality,
Fiction
And
Fantasy
On one side
Humanity
Normal
And
Average
On the other
Weirdness
Madness
Failure
In other words, two different worlds
One full of anger.
The other full of sweet ignorance
June 6, 2012
A Dream
by Melissa
i saw a little girl, head hanging low, i asked for her name
she said i'm no one; that's when the tears came
she asked who I was, if someone sent a spy and if so, who?
i told her, "oh i'm just a girl, just an ordinary girl like you"
i couldn't see her face, but in her voice
you could hear how this little girl ached
she must have been around seven or eight
her weeps hit my core and kind of made me stutter
i asked, "little girl it's late, where is your mother?"
she he wasn't here, but then where could she be
but i guess those facts never minded to me
i took her fragile hand, skin so fare and white
asked her what was wrong, if everything was alright?
at first she hesitated, but then began to explain
why she was crying, why she was in pain
she told that her daddy left without a sign
i reassured her it was okay for so had mine
a voice full of sorrow, she screamed, NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
and with so much hurt, clenched my hand
she said i'm not beautiful, i'm so pale and my hair is too dark
then she turned her wrist and showed me her marks
she went on with her story, deep breaths in between
she told me that she saw things a little girl should have never seen
she told me what they would say and all the things they would do
children are supposed to be angels, but sometimes they can be so cruel
a child so young in agony, so misunderstood
all her life it's been if i could, i would
the room suddenly was dark, only light on her...
time paused for a moment, neither of us said a word
and when i stepped back, oh you wouldn't believe
i was looking into the eyes of a little girl that once was me....
June 3, 2012
Broken Home
by Lapria
What do you do when you feel alone?
Captured within the pale walls of a broken home
What do you do when you feel alone?
Shattered dreams and all hope is gone
Inhaling the fumes of agony and pain
Hoping strength you'll soon regain
Broken glass you swallow every time you tell her a lie
Looking at her deep in her brown eyes
Wanting to tell her the truth
But knowing it would be just too much
Wanting to feel that tingly touch
That installation of kin that you once cherished
Now gone forever due to a poor marriage
What do you do when you feel alone?
Captured within the pale walls of a broken home
You break free and listen to the whispers of the wind
If only I knew now what I knew then
What's done in the dark always reveals itself in the light
What was done was done and even if it wasn't right
I will escape the feeling of loneliness and the tenderness of pain
And the love that I share with her in my heart will remain.
So what do you do when you feel alone?
Break down the pale walls within the broken home
Rebuild them and paint them with a clean white
It’s guaranteed to make everything alright...
What do you do when you feel alone?
Rebuild the strength and love within the home!
Mirror
by Alison
the
mirror shows her every flaw,
hips
too big and chest too small,
she
sees no worth and cries in shame,
she
hates herself and he’s to blame,
mascara
tears have stained her eyes,
"you're
beautiful"
has
become a lie,
pretty
girls in magazines
and
perfect ones on movie screens,
they
have it all,
the
looks and more
while
she just cries
behind
locked doors
to
love herself is what she needs
but
not enough is all she sees,
no
matter what the mirror shows,
she's
more beautiful than she could know.
May 20, 2012
Sirens Blue
by Anonymous
I see blood flash in sirens blue.
Blood, dripping rapidly,
Cascading from the carcass
Of a teenage mind,
Over analysed.
A trace of silver,
One solemn tear,
Smoothly sails on the surface
Of a flame.
Like my hope,
Life flashes red
Battered and bandaged,
And like my hope,
Evaporates.
May 15, 2012
One Night
by Danielle
One night I woke up because somebody broke me. I cried and cried but I couldn't tell you why. I walked around and into the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I saw my daddy's face. In my head I heard him say... "Babygirl, waste your tears on something worth it. You're too beautiful to be tear-stained." At that moment I smiled and I saw my face.. The face of a broken girl, but one that would be okay in the end.
May 14, 2012
Really
by Anonymous
I try but not really
I'm high but no really
Pure attraction, nothing more than magnetism
I don't love you at all
I don't even have a heart of reason
Sorry if you thought different
I can never be the prince of a princess
Maybe in time
But I know I'll still play this game
And these scars will make you cry in pain
I fuck up but not really
No girl ever wants to be open but no really
A tough exterior to break?
I'm as soft as can be
I wish I could melt your heart
But you sneak around like a centipede
So you’ve forced me to fend for myself
Sorry if you get in the way
I don't know your last name anyway
You're cool but not really
You're hot but no really
Here I go again
Settle down just to make my move
I skateboard and chill, act smooth
I'll get what I want, but come off as rude
Taint her white dress she thinks she’s in love
Tingles the skin to the core
Make excuses, I'm and, if, but, and or
I’m happy but not really
Back to square one but no really
Well what now
I think I’ll take a bow
Oh you want to see a movie tonight
Check that I'll take an encore
Please don’t be a bore
Victim to my own rhyme
Only to possibly learn in due time
My Wings
by Melecia
I lost my wings when you went away
I scream for your contact everyday
I break down into sobs whenever you cross my mind
I will not be okay, I will not be fine
Don't you know what you left behind?
A broken home, and no peace of mind.
I know you were hurting, but weren't we all?
You brought us all down, when you decided to fall.
I don't mean to sound selfish, but I loved you, you know
I just wished you would have warned us that you were ready to go
You were my wings, you helped me to fly
but now I'm stuck on the ground with my life passing by
I miss you so much it hurts
and I hope you know I loved you with all I was worth
We'll meet again soon and sit on a cloud
and you'll tell me how I screamed so loud
You heard every cry, and tasted every tear
Everything I felt down there, you felt up here
"I'm so sorry," you apologize
"It's okay," I say through blinking eyes
I have my wings again, I'm free to fly
Then you take my hand, and we take to the skies.
April 24, 2012
Silence
by Imanni
lungs have no air heart has no beat nose has no smell eyes cant see hands cant touch or feel warmth legs cant walk lips wont move veins empty of blood shatter glass broken up words broken lamps broken girl broken world violence fills the air he hits and hits and hits again saying shes a bitch a whore he's such an artist who paints all of his work in blood she's dead on the inside choking on her own pain and guilt friends cry, she's insane will she ever be the same heart starts to beat slowly lungs start to fill with air mind starts to send signals hands can feel nose can smell legs can walk veins start to pump and lips start to move she says fear is not here or there insane aren't we all crazy delusional mentally changed to some degree but why does it only have to be me because i told or because i'm alive even tho the tear aint dried still i rise
Haunted
by Imanni
What if I could stop breathing for 20 seconds?
Maybe that could get you to not be reckless?
What if I bleed out and die?
Would that even be enough for you to cry?
What if I told you how I really felt without holding back?
I wonder how you would respond to that.
Would you rant and rave
Threaten to put me in the grave?
Or would you listen
Not interrupt till I was finish?
I wonder how you will react when the Judge hands down the Verdict.
Are you even scared to be in there with convicted criminal?
Or are you trying to have everything subliminal
Do you try to kill me in you sleep
Conjure up images just to prove to you I’m weak.
Will you count down the month, hours, days, and year?
Or will you face you fear
Or maybe drown in your own tear
I hope it haunt you like a ghost
And bother you most nights
Hopefully you can’t sleep without lights
Darkness will consume you
And there I will be
Facing you with all of you misery
You will never sleep again
Neither will your friends
Haunting and taunting you'll see visions of me
Watching from the inside
You’ll go downhill
Bouncing from mental institution
For you there is no solution
I follow you like prey ready to attack
Just like your decisions you can never turn back
Guess what it are not only you
Your other 2 friends are seeing me too
I will never go away
I will haunt you everyday
Impossible to get rid of me
I’ll have you pleading please
I won’t listen it will fall upon deaf ears
Just like screaming in nightmares
Grab for your blanket or teddy
You can’t call mom you know that already
This is Prison and I’m Hell
Rest in pieces in your Jail cell
Beware the dude your sleeping next like boys
You’ll be his next jailhouse toy.
3 years from now I’ll be at your Wake
You won’t rest in Peace
I’ll command your fate
You’ll hear my voice
And smell me before you die
And you will know the answer why
I am the ghost and you are scrooge
Life is a game! Guess what
You lose
Trapped Behind These Cold Glass Walls
by
Imanni
trapped
behind these cold glass walls
white
fades to black
emotions
run deep like a cut with a four inch blade
cold
glassy stare from sharp crazed eyes
look
into the mirror what do you see
a
crazed person staring back at me
words
spin as tho they're on an amusement ride
but
this is not for fun
lives
are at stake
don't
take the risk
black
slowly turns to red
deep
bright hard red
pumping
out of the cold and disturbed heart
what
do you say
how
do you react
the
cold glassy stare freezes in time
prickly
thorns arise on that heart
thought
to be made out of steel
they
let down the castle wall guarding your heart
but
the pain they can't see
the
fire taken over your soul
walking
slow like a zombie
screams
that they can't hear
your
cries for help echo against these glass walls
someone
throw a brick or a stone
let
me out of this vicious cage
that
we've both built
me
out of protection
you
out of control
someone
help me
sweaty
hands surround tightly around the throat
squeezing
the life out of you slowly
like
an anaconda on the verge of an attack
i
guess this is the sign that i'm going mad
the
unseen bruises
vision
of him appearing like a ghost
i'm
going crazier than most
April 19, 2012
Touch
by Emily
A lingering smile,
On lips of softest pink,
A flash of joy,
In bright eyes full of wonder,
A brush of golden curls,
Of the halo that surrounds her,
Gentleness, Truthfulness,
A soul that shines so bright,
I stand on the outskirts,
Hoping to be noticed,
But content to always wonder,
If that smile was meant for me.
April 18, 2012
Satan's Army
by Kaitlyn
All the people
I love and know
Were destroyed
With one little blow
As the power of Satan
Doubled in size
His skeleton army
Started to rise
If there is one thing
You should know
If you want to survive
Just remember
Never close your eyes.
April 14, 2012
Softness
by Emily
The cruel pangs of reality stab at my side,
A constant reminder of a fight left to fight,
The haunting concept of a pain left to live.
A softer idea brushes the edges of my mind,
A more promising reality of endings and beginnings,
Of softness, and tiredness, and wanderings.
To let go of the world,
Surrendering, giving,
to the serenity beyond.
Oh! To let go, of my worries and problems,
Of my secrets and pains,
Never to be told,
to the eyes that don't see,
to the lives that don't live.
To be free of the pressures,
of the swirling indifference,
that consumes the world around me.
Surrendering to softness,
To a world with less to hold.
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